i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They took my balls.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
