i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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