She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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