you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
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Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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