Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
