Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
