Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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