That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
