I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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