so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
