Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
