i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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