her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
