Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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