I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
