try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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