i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
