She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were trust falling into bushes
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
