this beer tastes like vomit already
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
