Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
