It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize