bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
