Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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