saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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