I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
