i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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