life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
