ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
