Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
