apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
