plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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