Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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