singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
