he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
