i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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