I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You are a genius and a whore.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
