think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just threw up on my dentist
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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