So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just found puke in my bra..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
