When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize