My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
