I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My feet surprised me
Randomize
