I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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