i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my being single is dangerous.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize