Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize