just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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