On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
