Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
