is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
