i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
