Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
