ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
