my phone needs a breathalizer
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee