I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
zippers are such a cool invention
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
