i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we're so committed to being not committed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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