Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize