So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
