hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
