Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
