There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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