Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
