so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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