too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
