pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
