Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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