I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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